This week’s Spill It letter broke my heart — not because it was dramatic, but because it was painfully familiar.
Our listener writes that her husband tells her she’s “aging gracefully”…
but he also keeps pointing out women her age who’ve had cosmetic procedures and saying things like:
“See? That’s how women should age now.”
“She looks amazing — you’d never know how old she is.”
“Isn’t it incredible what they’re doing these days?”
Compliment?
Pressure?
Or emotional landmine?
Let’s be honest — it’s emotional landmine.
Mixed Messaging Hurts
This isn’t about beauty.
It isn’t even about cosmetic procedures.
It’s about what it feels like when someone says:
“You’re beautiful…
but someone else is doing ‘aging’ better.”
Comparison — especially from a partner — creates doubt.
It creates insecurity.
It creates emotional whiplash.
And it places women in an impossible position:
Stay “natural”… but measure up to women who haven’t.
How do you win that?
You don’t.
It’s Okay to Say “That Hurts Me.”
In this episode, Veida and I talk about something essential:
You are allowed to tell someone you love that what they’re saying hurts.
You don’t have to:
- “laugh it off”
- make a joke
- stay quiet
- pretend it’s flattering
- dismiss your feelings
- rationalize their behavior
You can simply say:
“This makes me feel compared, pressured, and unseen — and I need it to stop.”
If someone loves you, they can handle emotional accountability.
And if they can’t… that’s telling, too.
Let’s Be Very Clear
Aging isn’t failure.
Lines aren’t flaws.
And you never owe the world — or your husband — a maintenance plan for your face.
If you choose procedures, that’s your decision.
If you don’t, that’s also your decision.
Either way, your worth does not require explanation.
My hope for every woman listening is this:
That you never feel like you’re competing in your own marriage.
That your value isn’t tied to comparison.
That you are loved for who you are — not how closely you match someone else.
And if someone can’t love you without comparison?
Sometimes the bravest thing you can say is:
Party’s Over.
If this speaks to you…
🎧 Listen to Part C of Episode 124 of Party’s Over
❤️ Share with someone who needs validation and strength
⭐️ Leave a review — it truly helps the show grow
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