Let’s get right into it, because this one is not complicated — it’s just emotionally messy.

A woman writes in: She’s embarrassed. She’s confused. She’s shaken.
Her boyfriend gave her an STD, and his explanation is: “It was from my ex-girlfriend before we got together.”

She’s leaning toward leaving him… but her friends are telling her she’s crazy to even consider staying. They say STDs are a deal breaker.

So what do I think?

I think your friends are right. And I’m going to say it as clearly as I can: this is a deal breaker.

Not because you should be ashamed. Not because you’re “dirty.” Not because life isn’t complicated. But because responsibility is non-negotiable.

This Isn’t About the STD. It’s About Behavior.

People get STDs. That’s real life.But how someone handles it tells you everything about who they are.

If a grown man is sexually active, he has one job:

get tested
be honest
use protection
protect your health like it’s sacred

So when someone gives you an STD and then acts like it’s no big deal—or tries to slide past it with some vague story about an ex?

That’s not an accident. That’s recklessness. That’s disrespect.

And frankly? That’s someone showing you that your health is not important to them.

“It Was From My Ex” Might Be True… But Here’s the Point

Even if it was from his ex, why wasn’t he tested? Why didn’t he protect you? Why didn’t he handle his body like an adult?

The issue isn’t just where it came from. The issue is that he was willing to gamble with your body. You don’t build a future with someone who treats your wellbeing like a coin toss.

Love Doesn’t Put You at Risk and Then Shrug

Veida and I both said it instantly:

Done. Over. Snip snip.

When someone shows you they’re careless with your health — especially sexual health — you don’t debate it. You don’t minimize it. You don’t talk yourself out of what you know.

You leave.

Because here’s what comes next if you don’t:

more dishonesty
more carelessness
more “you’re overreacting”
and eventually… more harm

Your Friends Aren’t Being Dramatic. They’re Being Protective.

Sometimes friends see what we can’t — because we’re in it.
If the people who love you are saying “What are you doing?” it’s worth listening.

Not because they’re judging him. Because they’re protecting you.

Final Word

If your boyfriend gave you an STD and is treating it casually—or trying to dodge responsibility—that’s not someone you can trust with your body, your heart, or your future.

You deserve a partner who:

So yes: deal breaker.

And if you needed permission to walk away? Here it is: leave him.

Thanks for Spilling It with us!
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