There are certain expectations that seem to come with different stages of life. They’re not always spoken directly, but they’re there—shaping how we think we’re supposed to feel, what we’re supposed to do, and how we’re supposed to show up.
This episode ended up being about what happens when those expectations don’t actually fit.
Not in midlife. Not in family. Not in motherhood.
And what it takes to choose differently anyway.
When I sat down with Lisa Anne King, we started with a conversation about menopause and perimenopause—something that, for how universal it is, still feels surprisingly under-discussed. Women go through it, but very few feel prepared for what it actually looks like. The symptoms can show up in ways that don’t always get connected back to hormones: fatigue, brain fog, weight changes, inflammation. And because of that, a lot of women end up thinking something is wrong with them, rather than understanding that their bodies are shifting in a very real and very normal way.
What I appreciated about Lisa Anne’s perspective is that she didn’t frame this stage as something to fight. She talked about it as something to understand—and then work with. That means supporting your body differently than you may have before. It means strength training, prioritizing protein, paying attention to inflammation. But it also means changing how you see this stage of life. Because if you approach it as decline, that’s how it’s going to feel. If you approach it as a transition—one that you can move through with intention—it becomes something else entirely.
That idea of reframing carried into the next conversation, but in a completely different context.
When Veida and I started talking about blended families, what became clear very quickly is how much expectation people bring into those situations—and how often those expectations don’t hold up in real life. There’s an idea of how it’s supposed to work, how everyone is supposed to get along, how fairness is supposed to look. But when you’re actually inside it, it’s more complicated than that.
You’re dealing with children who have their own histories and loyalties, with ex-partners who are still part of the picture, with emotions that don’t always line up neatly. And trying to force everything into a clean, ideal version of “this is how a family should function” usually creates more tension, not less.
What we talked about instead is the need for flexibility. The willingness to adjust, to let go of being right all the time, to accept that things won’t always feel balanced in a perfect way. Sometimes that means compromising. Sometimes it means, as Veida put it, “eating a little crow.” Not because you’re giving something up, but because you’re choosing the long-term stability of the family over the short-term need to win a moment.
And then we got to Spill It, which, in a different way, brought the entire episode into focus.
The question was simple, but loaded: a woman who is pregnant at 40 doesn’t want to breastfeed—and she’s already feeling judged for it. Is she wrong?
What struck me about that question is how quickly people have opinions about something so personal. There’s a narrative around what a “good mother” is supposed to do, and breastfeeding is often placed at the center of it. And once that narrative is in place, it becomes very easy to turn it into pressure—or even shame.
But the truth is much simpler than that.
Fed is fed.
That’s it.
Your child being cared for, nourished, and supported is what matters. Not how you get there. Not whether it aligns with someone else’s idea of what you should be doing.
We also talked about bonding, because that’s another place where the narrative can become misleading. There’s this idea that breastfeeding is what creates connection, when in reality, connection comes from presence, consistency, and care. It comes from being there—not from one specific method of feeding.
What all three of these conversations had in common is that they challenged the idea that there’s one correct path.
One correct way to age.
One correct way to build a family.
One correct way to be a mother.
There isn’t.
There’s what works for you. There’s what aligns with your life, your body, your reality.
And the more you can tune into that—rather than trying to meet an external standard—the clearer things become.
That doesn’t mean the decisions are always easy. In fact, sometimes they’re harder, because you’re choosing them consciously. You’re not just following what’s expected. But they’re yours.
And that makes all the difference.
If there’s one thing I took away from this episode, it’s that you don’t have to follow a script just because it exists. You can question it. You can adjust it. You can decide that it doesn’t apply to you.
And when you do that, you’re not doing something wrong.
You’re doing something intentional.
If you’ve ever felt pressure to follow a path that didn’t quite fit—or questioned whether the “right way” is actually right for you—this episode will give you a different perspective.
And if it resonates, share it with someone who might need to hear it.