One of the things I’ve learned while hosting Party’s Over is that certain topics instantly resonate with people—because they’ve lived them.
When Vita and I started talking about “mean girl moms” during this episode, I could already imagine how many people would nod in recognition.
You would think that by the time we reach adulthood, we’ve left those social dynamics behind.
But sometimes, the same patterns we saw in school—cliques, exclusion, competition—show up again in surprising places.
And one of those places can be parenting communities.
When Social Groups Come With Rules
During the conversation, Veida shared a story about something that happened to her after moving to Miami.
She had been invited into a social group by another mom, only to later be told that she could not remain part of the group if she continued to be friends with someone they disliked.
Think about that for a moment.
Not a disagreement. Not a misunderstanding.
A condition placed on friendship itself.
Her response was immediate: if the price of belonging was choosing between friends, she simply wasn’t interested.
And honestly, I couldn’t agree more.
Why These Dynamics Happen
When situations like this come up, it’s easy to wonder what you did wrong.
But most of the time, it has very little to do with you.
In many cases, these dynamics are fueled by insecurity, jealousy, or social competition.
Parenting communities can sometimes become environments where people compare everything—from careers to lifestyles to their children’s achievements.
And when people feel threatened or insecure, exclusion can become a way to regain control.
It’s not healthy. And it’s not kind.
When Children Get Caught in the Middle
One of the most difficult parts of these situations is that sometimes the social dynamics between parents spill over onto their children.
We talked about the reality that kids can sometimes be excluded from gatherings or events because of conflicts among adults.
And that’s when things become particularly unfair.
Children shouldn’t be navigating social politics that originate with their parents.
Choosing a Different Approach
The conversation eventually landed on something much more empowering.
Instead of trying to fit into social circles that operate through exclusion, you can create your own community.
One that’s welcoming.
One that’s supportive.
One that doesn’t require you to compete or prove yourself.
Because at the end of the day, real friendships aren’t built on hierarchy.
They’re built on respect.
And if someone tries to make you feel small just to belong, that’s a pretty clear sign the party’s over.
