When I invited college relationship voice Nina Wallen onto Party’s Over, I was ready to hear a fresh perspective on online dating — but I wasn’t prepared for just how much the culture has shifted for young adults.
If you grew up believing that dating meant dinner, conversation, chivalry, butterflies, and emotional intention, buckle up: the landscape has changed. Today’s dating world often looks more like a handful of text messages, a coffee meetup, and minimal emotional investment.
And yet — that doesn’t mean young adults don’t care about connection. It simply means they navigate love differently.
Dating Apps Are Not Created Equal
Nina’s take on the apps was eye-opening:
- Tinder: built around casual energy
- Bumble: better for meaningful relationships
- Hinge: somewhere in between, sometimes confusing
- Faith-based platforms: marriage-minded and intentional
And while the categories aren’t rigid, the emotional tone of each app tends to be predictable. If you’re looking for an actual relationship — Nina recommends Bumble over Tinder every time.
But what surprised me most was not the apps themselves. It was the emotional culture behind them.
Why Coffee Dates Are Replacing Dinner Dates
Gone are the days when a first date automatically meant dinner, flowers, and romantic conversation. According to Nina, the new default first date is a coffee meetup. It’s simple, inexpensive, quick, and low pressure. If the vibe is off, you’re not stuck waiting for a check or pretending to be engaged in a meal.
Honestly? I get it.
Coffee dates are practical, flexible, and emotionally safer. They let two people feel each other out without committing to hours of time — or an entire restaurant bill — with someone who might not be a match.
And yet, some part of me finds it bittersweet.
Coffee dates are efficient… but part of me misses the magic of romance.
Splitting the Check Isn’t About Money — It’s About Character
One of the most interesting parts of our conversation was Nina’s perspective on splitting the check. Many young adults don’t mind paying their share — but if someone refuses to contribute or demonstrates stinginess, that’s a red flag.
Not because of the money. Because of the mindset.
Generosity, chivalry, emotional presence — these things still matter, even in a world of casual culture and coffee dates. If someone is unwilling to be fair, kind, or thoughtful when the bill comes, it signals something deeper:
Money is never just money — it’s intention.
Cheapness, entitlement, or emotional withholding show up early. And when someone drinks an entire bottle of wine you bought — yes, that’s a red flag too.
Texting Makes Everything Convenient — and Less Connected
Here’s something Nina helped me understand: young adults have grown up with technology, and COVID magnified the digital experience. Many learned how to flirt, explore intimacy, express interest, and maintain relationships almost entirely through screens.
So instead of dinner, romance, and emotional investment, conversations often begin and end digitally:
- A few texts
- A comfort level
- A quick meetup
- A casual vibe
- And sometimes… nothing more
For some, it’s liberating. For others, it feels emotionally hollow.
But no matter how modern dating looks, emotional safety still matters. Boundaries still matter. Kindness still matters.
Hookup Culture Doesn’t Mean People Don’t Care
I asked Nina if hookup culture means young adults aren’t interested in relationships. Surprisingly, the answer is: not exactly.
Some young adults absolutely want meaningful love — but they also want freedom, emotional clarity, choice, and self-protection.
And if someone has already been in a serious relationship, the dating apps take on a different tone. Many know what commitment feels like — and if they’re not ready for it again, casual energy feels safer.
This isn’t a lack of emotion. It’s a different emotional rhythm.
Why Emotional Boundaries Matter More Than Ever
Dating today may look casual — but clarity matters more than ever.
For young adults:
- Emotional burnout is real
- Technology makes early intimacy easier
- Meaningful dating feels riskier
- Boundaries protect self-worth
- Intention has to be expressed clearly
Sometimes texting feels safer than vulnerability. Sometimes freedom feels easier than commitment. But connection always requires honesty, generosity, and emotional courage, no matter the generation.
Final Takeaway
Modern dating is different — but the emotional values are the same: kindness, generosity, clarity, boundaries, and self-worth.
Whether you’re navigating apps, coffee dates, casual culture, or something more traditional, remember:
Dating is not about performance. It’s about emotional safety, clarity, and mutual intention.
If you want romance — express it. If you want freedom — honor it. If you want clarity — ask for it.
Your emotional well-being matters far more than any app, any meetup, or any bottle of wine.
