I get letters every day from women trying to stand up for themselves. This one hit hard. She spent years building a life, raising kids, supporting everyone else, and when she finally wanted to invest in herself, her husband called her selfish.
Let me be clear. Beauty choices are not the issue. Control and respect are the issue. When someone uses money to limit your confidence, that is not partnership. That is power imbalance.
Here is what I would do. Schedule an actual financial conversation. Define shared goals and individual autonomy. Agree on a monthly or quarterly amount each partner can spend without debate. Use joint accounts for shared life expenses and personal accounts for personal choices. If someone refuses fairness, the problem is not the spreadsheet.
Self-care is not selfish. Respect is not optional.
Key takeaways
- Shared life means shared financial dignity.- Autonomy prevents resentment.
- Agreements stop arguments.
- Confidence is an investment, not a luxury.
- You earned the right to feel good in your skin. Claim it.
Watch this “Spill It” segment on YouTube and listen on your favorite podcast platform. Get From Bullshit to Botox for scripts to speak up for yourself. Subscribe, share, and tag a friend who needs financial confidence today.
